Gifting Season
Ready or not, here it comes.
Last week the weather finally caught up with the calendar as cool air swept through Dallas… now, it is still no autumn in Vermont, but anything sub-80 degrees feels like the fall is truly upon us. And as it comes, so arrives the final 10 weeks of the year that supercharges our calendar, times with the people we love and relate to, celebrations of thanksgiving and Christmas, worship, parties, recitals, assemblies and of course… gifts.
Every year seems to come faster and faster - I remember when I was little feeling like it was forever until the holidays arrived and now, as soon as the clock switches over to November 1st everyone is in the spirit…. Probably helps that in our little world Tripp and I both have birthdays in November, too. For our family, November ushers in all the fun, and busyness, and celebrations, and gift-giving (and receiving) that one could possibly want. So while the fun starts with Halloween… its a freight train to the New Year, am I right or am I right?
So let me just be real for a minute: I am a horrible gift receiver. Honestly, it is something I have always struggled with… and it is something I really have to work at. It has nothing to do with gratitude. In fact it is quite the opposite in that I am so thankful that someone would spend their time, money and efforts considering me. My awkward self just doesn't know how to receive that kind of affection and intention well.
And lets get really real: For years, I would consider myself a terrible gift giver. Something about the notion that the gifting season can often just feel so robotic… it somewhat became that for me, for years. Walking through the mall grabbing anything within the budget that looked decent enough (or was the trend or was something anyone would like) just to make sure a loved one opened a gift. While there was money and time spent on the gift, I cringe to admit there was often little intention, but too much stress.
A few years ago something changed…. Honestly, I think it was a variety of things. First off, we looked around and just had too much stuff - trinkets and toys and clothes and abundance that ultimately was wasted on short-attention spans. Probably also had something to do with me being that awkward receiver. I just really didn't need to open anything just for the sake of opening something…. and I definitely did not want to put that anxiety on anyone I gift. Nor did I want my kids to focus too much on ALL they did or did not get… We needed a change!
Here is what is working for me today…. while this is not exhaustive or perfect here are a few ways that the gifting season has changed in my heart and in our home:
We have a SHARED family gift note. All throughout the year as my kids, myself or BJ find something that we would love, we add it here with the link, the size, the color, etc… when it comes to aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends buying things for our kids we have a real-time list of items our kids (or us) would squeal to receive! It is constantly edited with items added and eliminated - and has streamlined the needs and wants of my people.
I keep a running tab of things I hear my people say… My mom comments on something I have that she likes? I write it down. My friend talks about something she's eyeing? I write it down. Just like the family note… I write ideas out for my people as I think of them, they come up in conversation or as I find something that seems like its made for them. When their birthday or Christmas arrives, I am ready.
I like to focus on the experience - lots of times that means the gift is just that! Tickets to a game, the theater or for travel are SO fun to give because they come with the time spent with that person. In a different vein, I focus on the experience of thinking through who we are gifting to… starting with birthday parties, I really try to help my kids think about what they love about this person, what they know this person loves or what they are most excited about and prompting them to give from there.
I also keep a running THINGS I'M LOVING note. This is not so that I receive them, but instead for me to reference as a giver. Arranged by budget and type - it serves as a quick gift guide for me when I'm buying for people. It is full of tried and true finds, current favorites or specific ideas based on the receivers.
Speaking of gift guides, years ago (when my gifting stress needed a solution!) I found someone who put together the most lovely, intentional, curated lists of gifts for all seasons, persons and budgets. Nowadays gift guides have become very commonplace, but I believe she was one of the first I found that I trusted for almost every gift out there. She took the guessing game out of so many purchases and became a trusted resource for me. It was a blessing! If you know me, you know that one of the things I really love most is to be an authentic resource to others… for years I've shared things I genuinely love in hopes that others may enjoy them, too. So in my year of bravely showing back up, I plan to put out a little gift guide myself. My only hope would be that I would be a resource for someone needing ideas the same way that others have been for me… I've spent a lot of time collecting ideas over this year based on conversations in my home and with my people. I'm excited to share them soon in hopes that they are a blessing, too!
Reality of it is…. Clothes fade, metals tarnish and toys break. The genuine hope for MY heart as we enter this holiday season is to get all of our eyes off of the stuff. We are natural consumers being fed the lie that we just need that next thing to satisfy… and friends, let me tell you if it's not crystal clear already: this world will constantly leave us wanting. That new car will lose it's smell, that new phone will soon be an old model, etc, etc. I don't say this to be a total downer, but to help lift our eyes off the actual stuff and onto something greater. If I could encourage you with what would outlast any gift to be unwrapped it would be:
GIVE TIME. Carve out intentional time with the people that you love in this season. It is what actually translates to love and is the ultimate gift we can give each other.
MAKE MOMENTS. Take time out of your calendar to do activities with your people that will be the moments that become memories. Bake together, deliver porch drops to neighbors, go ice skating or to a concert/show, or serve together.
EMBRACE MEALS. Think through the gift of a really beautiful meal. Not just the food consumed but the environment and the conversations and the laughter shared.
TAKE PICTURES. One thing I don't regret is being a Momistorian. I constantly have my camera out and ready and I'm not ashamed one bit. I love that my camera roll is filled with videos and pictures of us for years and years doing the silly, serious and ritual things around our holiday.
BE PRESENT. Ask yourself the Lazy Genius magic question… “What can I do now to make something easier later?”. Translate that to the holidays and don't wait to start your shopping, your meal plan, your Christmas cards until it stresses you out. Give yourself the gift of enjoying this season by pacing yourself and starting now to prep, plan and purchase so you can truly enjoy when family and friends gather.
PRACTICE GRATITUDE. It is far too easy to fall prey to materialism any time of the year and especially this time of year. Make it a practice to be thankful for what you have - and to encourage your people to do the same. Any gifts we give and receive are just that… a GIFT. We are not entitled to them, we should not expect them and we shouldn't be disheartened when we compare to others. Give and receive freely, thankfully, gratefully.
I'd be remiss not to share about the greatest gift you can receive…. As we head into this season, it is actually all about Him. Do you know the One who spoke the world into motion and created us, just to have us? Not only that, then came to earth and became just like us to save us with His death, life and resurrection? Receiving HIM is a FREE GIFT for any and all that would simply believe that He is actually where true life is found. Where freedom, forgiveness, salvation and joy that outlasts any earthly gift, is found. I'd love to talk about Him with anyone that wants to learn more about the gift of all gifts found in Jesus. If I could personally give you anything this season, it would be Him.
Over the years I have heard of lots of families that gift with systems - something you need, you want, to read and to play. Or drawing names at large family events so that gifts aren't piled to the ceiling and you aren't buying for everyone just to buy for everyone. Or bringing a “favorite thing” and treating the Christmas event like a gift exchange. Or trading in the money you'd spend on gifts to go out and do something together (maybe a trip, maybe a really lovely dinner out, maybe philanthropy instead)? There's so many more ways to be creative with how we are gifting...
Do you have a tradition or idea you could give me? I'm always up to hear about it!
Things I’m Loving:
Advent Prep Club - For over a decade our family has enjoyed the #MerryRectorDays thanks to the vision of my best friend who created an Advent activity calendar - she has hundreds of ideas, resources and tips to create a really impactful family tradition at the holidays!]
Birkenstocks - I have two different pair of Birkenstocks that I’ve been rocking since high school and college - literally, 20 years in. Eleanor got a pair and now Tripp is asking for some, too. These classics are just that… classic.
Half-Zip - Dorothy Grace and all her little friends just got this half-zip up and I wish it came in my size. So many cute color options and it is SO soft. Feels like Lulu!
The Ambitious Kitchen Cookbook - I am SO excited about this new cookbook! Monique had so many recipes that I love… her Paleo Chocolate cake has been our family favorite for years - I can’t wait to make my way through all of her recipes.
Rechargeable Hand Warmers - Last year I was gifted these as a prize in a tennis tournament… they quickly became my very favorite thing for cold weather! They are perfect for the side-lines when you watch your babes in winter sports, for cold weather warmups and I even took them snow skiing and wore them inside my gloves.
Salted Caramel Life Shake - I’ve been enjoying Shaklee nutrition since August…. And currently I am loving this protein powder every morning. I pretty much make a healthy version of a Frappuccino - espresso, almond milk, powder and ice. I look forward to it every day!
Youth Lash Revitalizing & Conditioning Mascara - I am really enjoying this 2-in-1 mascara after hoping to find a replacement for a serum I used for years. Color and condition… I’m enjoying!